How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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