i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
