You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize