he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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