ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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