the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
