you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
