I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
