I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
