Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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