And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
True strength comes from lack of pants
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