I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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