We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize