dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
this is an emotional support booty call
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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