Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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