i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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