I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
