what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Green mimosas i think yes
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
