Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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