I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
