You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
