I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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