Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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