my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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