I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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