So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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