I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
