i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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