I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
