i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
