So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you didnt know i had herpes?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize