This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
