ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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