my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
