you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize