Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
