I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
