beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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