Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
