who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm going to jail i love you
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
