operation have a gay friend backfired
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
