My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
