I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
