He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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