dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Randomize
