Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
kristin has been a bad kristin
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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