my room smells like sperm. sweet.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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