There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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