How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Randomize
