maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
