he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
