Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You took a bar mat shot.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize