I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I would ride that face into the sunset
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
