Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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