Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
