We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
