I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
