Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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