the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
