I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
