Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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