I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize